Being In-Love With Something I can Never Have

Even those with the weakest of stomachs can come together as one and be the strongest of men,
While the violence which the eyes do not perceive blankets the truth in which blind eyes hold none accountable for the trees that glimmered with green promises of hope are now reduced to ash in the name of a new world.
And the hole that resides in my chest grows deeper and wider than ever before.
Tomorrow will shower me with memories of the first time my eyes met yours, 
The first time I took in your smile, 
Your laughter. 
And the tears that I now cry are the raindrops which feed the earth's rivers and streams and oceans. 
The chasm in my chest will over throw all emotion and show me what I've now done, 
I don't think I'll be able to look at Pokémon the same way for quite some time, now.
How will I be able to replace the smell of Camel Crushes on your breath when I crave you so desperately?
I think Star Wars will be on that list of things I can't look at, as well. 
Now as I pathetically write my heart out to the world about my pained desires for you, 
How will I replace your scratchy beard and silver glinted eyes?
Even now, I don't think I could save your lost soul. 
If I kissed you, would you remember? 
If I loved you, would you forget?
Forget of how selfishly I treated you, 
And how hastily I threw you away?
Though in the end, that was you who drove me into such a 
Rage that I didn't think seeing red was possible anymore when all I could see was
Black as my charcoal eye lined eyes.
Will you still remember the once-in-a-lifetime electrifying kiss, 
That made my heart beat so intensely with love, 
The way that I remember it?
The breathy moan that escaped my lips as you silently whispered into my ear and heart
"Behave, don't over excite yourself", 
And the small sigh that I expelled as I escaped into the base of your neck?
Will I forever be forced to carry a memory, 
that for days made me shudder in pleasure, 
at just the thought of you brushing your tongue so gently against my lips, and slowly, 
reluctantly, 
retreated back between your own?
But now, as this heartbroken cry comes to a close, 
I'm guessing this is goodbye. 
And in your closing words, darling, 
"I don't want love, I want pain and despair."
If only you knew that I too carry your burden.